Bivša ŠPIJUNKA CIA otkriva mnoge TAJNE

"Pokušavam da se riješim tih instinkta. Ipak, mislim da oni ostaju duboko u podsvjesti, barem neki od njih", kaže Amarilis Foks, nekadašnji agent CIA u svojoj knjizi u kojoj je otkrila kako je izgledao njen špijunski život.

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As my brothers and sisters from all walks of national service demonstrate every day, the mission continues long after official duty is over. Be it building hospitals overseas, mounting rescue operations in the wake of wildfires here at home, delivering meals to families fleeing war, or protecting local schools from the sweep of rising floodwaters, thousands of US veterans work every day on behalf of human happiness, security, dignity, and freedom. . And as all those who have worked on behalf of our country know, we accept that ongoing mission on behalf of those brave men and women who fought alongside us with courage and skill but never made it home. Because the only way to honor a life given on behalf of others is to do some part of the work that person would have done, were they still here among us. Together, we can be an extension of their hands and hearts, serving the world long after they are gone. . So if you haven’t found a service community that feels right for you, try asking your friends, your community center, your local refugee resettlement program, your church or your food bank about programs that need your help. Or deploy with Team Rubicon alongside some of the best veterans I know to serve, safeguard, and rebuild communities in the US and overseas. . This Memorial Day, may we remember those who have given their lives in service by activating our own inner servants. May we honor those who’ve made the ultimate sacrifice by stepping up to care for our communities, our country and our world on their behalf. . #memorialday #service #peace

A post shared by Amaryllis Fox (@amaryllisfox) on May 28, 2018 at 6:59pm PDT

"Kad šetam gradovima, odmah uočavam gdje je dobro signalno mjesto, gdje bi najbolje bilo ostaviti nešto za diskretnu razmjenu, koje mjesto izgleda opasno i slično, to je naprosto ugrađeno u mene", rekla je Foks, prenosi Kurir.

U dva navrata je, otkako živi civilnim životom, primijetila ono za što je sumnjala da su signalne oznake - obična kreda ili čak tablete za gorušicu koje su ostavili agenti na dobrim mjestima.

Uvijek se osjećam ugodnije ako sjedim tako da nemam nikog iza svojih leđa, tako mogu da uočim bilo kakvu moguću prijetnju, čak i onu slučajnu, na vrijeme.

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I’ve gotten pretty banged up in my time, but by grace and luck and the skill of many brothers and sisters, I’ve never not made it home. Tonight I had the honor of sharing dinner with two gold star moms, one to a lost daughter and the other to a lost son. Their pain was still palpable, their loss there with us, heavy in the room. One of them told me she thinks often of the mothers of the fallen on the other side; sends them a hug through the ether. In the end, she told me, we all lost our children to the same monster, we all lost our children to the machine of war. . In my life I’ve spent time as a theologian at Oxford and as an intelligence officer on the frontlines of the war on terror. And from both those very different vantage points, I can only reaffirm with all my heart Dr King’s echoing words: “Love even for enemies is the key to the solution of the problems of the world.” . On this 50th anniversary of his death, may we honor our young men and women in uniform by heeding his warning against militarism, taking up his steadfast opposition to violence in all its forms, overseas as well as at home. May we stand on the shoulders of our history’s giants, supporting tomorrow’s generation of Americans with the patriotism of peace. . #mlk #usa #powerofpeace

A post shared by Amaryllis Fox (@amaryllisfox) on Apr 4, 2018 at 9:50pm PDT

Neke od neprijatnih navika kojih pokušava da se riješi je registrovanje svakoga ko je ušao ili izašao iz restorana, odmjeravanje postojanja požarnih izlaza, pomoćnih stepenica i svega što bi moglo da posluži za brzo bjekstvo, ako bi to bilo potrebno.

"To baš i nije najzabavnija stvar za vaše prijatelje, sagovornike koji se žele s vama da se zabave na večeri ili piću", smije se Foksova, prenosi Kurir.

Postoji još jedna navika koju je usvojila, a najviše izluđuje njenog supruga - zaustavljanje baš uvijek na žutom svjetlu semafora. I dok drugi debelo prolaze, ili joj čak oni iza nje trube, ona kaže da je to jače od nje.

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Raw. That's the only word I can find to capture my spirit right now. Like an unscabbed wound. And in this vulnerability, there is truth and beauty and strength. . Zoe took this photo in our beloved @johnperrybarlow's garden as we gathered flowers to lay around his bed. We spent the afternoon and evening at his side, holding his hand, all sharing stories and making music and telling our favorite memories. . It was Zoe's first time in the presence of a departed friend's body, this beautiful earth husk, no longer piloted by the spirit she knew so well. As a parent, I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to bring her, to let her stand so close to the truth of life and death and feel its mystery envelop her. But in the end, John Perry never talked down to Zoe. He treated her as a person of great dignity and wisdom. Children, he told me often, are capable of understanding the most challenging and profound of puzzles, so long as they do not feel the world is hiding some secret behind closed doors. And, as ever, he was right. Zoe left a letter tucked at his bedside, arranged flowers on his pillow. There, in the presence of his body and his energy, she began to metabolize what had happened, to understand the changing of his form. . Death is like easing off a pair of too-tight shoes, one friend said. The releasing of the soul into unbounded love, John Perry himself had described it. And so we sat together, friends and family, laughing and weeping, shedding shoes and channeling love, as our dear friend's energy changed its shape and flew free. . It was a day of mystery and sorrow and joyful awe. John Perry Barlow, poet, artist, dreamer of the dreams and maker of the music, today and ever more. May you feel us all at your wing tips as you cross the rainbow bridge and come back to guide us often this side of the sparkly veil.

A post shared by Amaryllis Fox (@amaryllisfox) on Feb 10, 2018 at 10:41pm PST

"Kad radite kontranadzor, jedna od stvari koju vas uče je da ne razbjesnite one koje nadzirete tako da pomisle kako želite da im pobjegnete. Dakle, kad svjetlo pređe u žuto, ja stajem da onaj iza mene ne pomisli da sam namjerno dala gas", objašnjava.

 Ophođenje s onim koji vas prati nije baš kao u špijunskim trilerima, štaviše, moglo bi biti drugačije od stvarnosti. Pravi agenti ne skaču s vagona s pištoljem u ruci, već se probijaju kroz gužve gradskih ulica, trudeći se da ne izgube metu.

Filmsko ponašanje bi privuklo pažnju na agenta, i onda on više nije "prikriven", pa propada celi zadatak.

Bilo je ljudi, posebno onih s kojima sam se češće družila, koji su uvijek bili sumnjičavi o tome šta radim. Mahom su to bili muškarci s kojima sam bila u vezi. Uvijek bi me optuživali da ih varam ili da sam pripadnica neke mafije ili da se bavim prodajom droge, odnosno, nečim ilegalnim, prenosi Kurir.

Morala sam da ćutim i nastavim dalje, a tako bi ih i eliminisala kao potencijalne partnere. Suprug naravno zna šta radim, ali ne možete ljudima to reći na prvu loptu, zabranjeno je.

"Ne, nikada nisam zažalila što je moj život prepun izmišljenih laži, jer skrivanje od drugih je bio samo moj posao. Da, posao je to koji sam skupo platila društvenim životom, koji je u nekim trenucima bio neizdrživ, ali ostala sam normalna. Nije bilo lako", kaže Foksova.